When you have a baby these days, particularly if you live in Portland, Maine (or any other “progressive” city) you are overwhelmingly pressured into breastfeeding. And don’t get me wrong – it’s great that breastfeeding is now the recommended way to feed baby, and that doctors and parents alike are beginning (or continuing) to realize its incredible benefits. However, in a well-intentioned attempt to promote the wonders of breastfeeding, it seems other choices (i.e. formula) have been demonized. And that’s wrong. And here’s why.
No one likes talking about death, especially when it involves a baby. No one thinks it will happen to them. It’s too unthinkable. “Only in those tragic movies…,” we think. Well, it happened to me.
My baby boy died in my arms on August 24, 2008
“Doubts are more cruel than the worst of truths” ~Moliere
I live with a burden that no one in my life truly understands. I feel its presence when I wake up each morning; and it lingers with me every sleepless night as I lay in bed, listening for sounds in the silence – concocting ridiculous scenarios of despair in my head. The days are no better; just masked by the chaos of my new life as a mother. I question everything. I create worst-case scenarios in normal situations and cling to them and the emotional and physical feelings that accompany them as though they are really happening. I live in these scenarios. I absorb myself in them until my mind cannot backtrack to the reality of the moment.
I have obsessive compulsive disorder.
It’s no secret that we love giveaways here at Daily Mom! One of the best parts of our job is to bring you, our amazing readers, some of the best quality and gorgeous products on the market- and sometimes even for free! A few weeks ago we hosted what we dubbed The Biggest Breastfeeding Giveaway Ever because it was just that: seriously the biggest breastfeeding giveaway we had ever done! We had four huge packs of prizes to giveaway and they were each full of products that were designed with the breastfeeding mother in mind. With items from Belly Armor, Comotomo, Belly Bandit, Dr. Browns, The First Years, and a whole array of gorgeous nursing wear; we couldn’t wait to share it with you all! After the giveaway was over we chose our lucky winners and wanted to share with you a bit about three of them!
Most of us know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but it seems only a handful are aware that it’s also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month. Pregnancy and infant loss has become such a taboo topic. It is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a person- the loss of a child. You never think, in your wildest dreams, that it will happen to you. We all hope and pray never to find ourselves among those who have suffered such an incredible loss, and yet there are many of us who have. And once you’ve experienced such a loss, it seems to take a lifetime to heal.
The healing process varies dramatically from person to person- some choose to keep to themselves, some choose to surround themselves with family and friends, some choose to join a support group. One of the most important steps in the healing process is to talk about your loss. And that’s just what we want you to do. We want you to share your stories with us, with our readers; your ups and your downs, and how you navigated your way through life after your loss. We want you to find comfort in knowing you’re not alone, in knowing your little angel will never be forgotten.
If you’d like to share your journey with us, E-mail your story to firstname.lastname@example.org. Be sure to include a photo of yourself and a small bio based on these prompts:
Photo credits: The Art of Making a Baby
Hello! My name is Raeanne and I’m a 33 year old mom to 3 boys. My youngest son is 7 weeks old and 4 days, my middle son is 6 and my oldest is 9. Twelve years ago I had a breast reduction. I was told by the surgeon that I had a 50/50 shot at being able to breast feed at all.
Are you one of the “lucky” ones whose child loves the car and falls asleep before you are even out of the driveway? Does your little one hate the car seat and cry at the sight of the car? If you fall into either one of these categories, or even somewhere in between, the team here at Daily Mom knows just how you feel. Whether you flipped your child forward facing at one year old, are extended rear facing till four or fall somewhere in the middle, we can relate! In honor of National Child Passenger Safety Month we are bringing you some of our very own car seat triumphs, struggles and stories. After all, as parents, we all have one common goal, raising healthy and happy children in a safe environment.
Before I had kids, I never really gave breastfeeding much thought. I knew a few people who breastfed their babies; and to my 20-something young self, the idea of it seemed old-fashioned and unnecessary to me. I just couldn’t understand why, with everything else that motherhood entails, a woman would put that much extra pressure and stress on herself.
When I was pregnant with my son, the question that bothered me the most was, “Will you breastfeed?” I was unsure how I felt about breastfeeding at the time. No one I knew breastfed and to me boobs were these sexual objects my husband loved. I developed the mentality that I would try it and if it worked out, great! If not, oh well who cares. I didn’t do any research and left it at that.
Breastfeeding. It sounds so simple: feed from your breast. The baby roots and latches on. The milk lets down. Baby gets fed. No brainer, right? Wait. Rooting? Latch? Let down?
Throughout the month, we have brought you many amazing stories about the triumphs and tribulations of breastfeeding. You have seen inside the very heart and soul of the breastfeeding journeys of some of the Daily Mom writers, as well as many of our inspirational readers. Obviously, you know where we stand on breastfeeding. It is an amazing and nourishing gift that we Mothers are able to provide for our children. However, it isn’t always easy. Today, we share with you the other huge part of the breastfeeding equation: Fathers. They can play such a pivotal role in breastfeeding. Just as a mother does, they experience the fear, excitement and stress all in their own way. Check out what some of our own “Daily Dads” had to say about their take on this amazing journey. Get a good laugh and some awesome tips for helping Dad cope with this adjustment!
“…A new fantastic point of view.”
That, in a nutshell, is what the last 14-weeks of being a new father has been like. My point of view on life has changed. My point of view on who I am as a man has changed. My point of view on what work and play are have changed…even my point of view on how I see my wife has changed.
It is one of the first very personal questions that nosy aunts, grandmothers, friends, even coworkers ask. “Are you going to breastfeed your baby?” You have every intention of doing just that. It is the healthiest and most natural way to feed your baby and you want to be sure that they have every benefit possible. You have researched, read books, taken the new mothers classes, and you are determined to make this work. You have endured labor and birth and here is your shining moment. You put your baby to your breast for the first time and it happens! Or, at times, it doesn’t. Women struggle with breastfeeding every day and many give up because they weren’t sure how or where to reach out for help. We are here to help by providing the necessary resources if you need them.
This breastfeeding journey of mine was a bumpy road. The first 3 months were all about mastitis and it was painful, horrible, tiring and time consuming. Two weeks after Arvin (my baby) was born, my right breast got infected and started developing mastitis.
I was 40 years old when I had my first child. Luckily for us, breastfeeding was a breeze right from the start, she latched on like a champ every single time, I had no pain, and we both really enjoyed it!