5 Unspoken Truths about Pregnancy

5 Unspoken Pregnancy Complaints Opt 1

We have all heard the joys that accompany pregnancy from food cravings, to bouts of morning sickness, to chronic fatigue. But let’s be honest, there’s way more to pregnancy than these little nuisances. Pregnancy can be downright TMI for most to talk about. We’re cutting to the chase, barring it all, revealing some of the cold, hard (and humorous) truths about pregnancy NO ONE ever tells you about.

1. A new water park will open in your underwear


Your body will produce more fluids in general, but you will certainly notice an increase in vaginal fluid. Don’t say you weren’t warned when changing your underwear more than twice a day becomes the norm. This new “slip-n-slide” may actually be a blessing in disguise during bedroom endeavors, decreasing the need for foreplay. And if that doesn’t suit your fancy because let’s face it, we are not always in the mood when we’re pregnant, unearth your long lost panty liners when fluids are too much to handle.

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2. You will be Goddess of the lower winds


Your partner (and dog) will be very impressed and possibly envious with the new noises you are capable of creating from gas and bloat. During pregnancy your gastrointestinal tract takes the back seat, meaning slower absorption of food and nutrients. Couple that with extra pressure from the uterus and you have a prime atmosphere for gas bubbles to accumulate and inevitably be expelled. You may not even know you’re capable of such flatulence. Do the right thing when lower winds catch you in public and give the stink eye to the person closest to you: no one will suspect a beautiful, glowing pregnant mama. This is your time to shine!

3. You may look like a caveman


Caveman or bigfoot, take your pick. Hair in unwanted places will decide to grow overnight, who knew? Hair can develop as a new layer of peach fuzz or a full on new winter coat. It is noteworthy that facial hair is a common pregnancy symptom – so be prepared. Become friends with an esthetician for all your waxing needs. If you’re on a budget, invest in a home waxing kit and wax-on, wax-off. Pregnant during winter? Thank your hormones for naturally keeping you a little warmer with the extra hair.

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4. Bathroom trips may frighten you


You are probably good friends with the bathroom by now, spending quality time with the porcelain throne and urinating at least 10 times a day. As you get farther along in your pregnancy more pressure builds on your lower region and unforeseen things begin to happen, more than frequent urination. One word, hemorrhoids. If you are unfamiliar with hemorrhoids consider yourself lucky and skip this section. Hemorrhoids occur when the veins around the anus swell and become painful. This can make going #2 not pleasant. But, remember there is an end in sight, this is temporary, and bathrooms will not always be your arch enemy. In the meantime, capitalize on your alone time in the bathroom because before you know it, you’ll have a miniature person attached to you all the time, even in the bathroom.

5. You will live in fantasies


Pregnancy brings out a feast of dreams. The theory is that pregnant women sleep more, and therefore dream more. More time dreaming allows for a greater variety of dreams; strange, sexual, vivid dreams. Did we mention sexual dreams? For some reason, sex seems to be very active in the subconscious mind during pregnancy. Take advantage of this and bring those dreams to reality, surely your partner will be happy to help make these dreams become reality.

Looking for Un-Maternity Wear?

If you need to add some maternity clothing to your wardrobe, but don’t want to spend money on pieces you’ll only wear for a short period of time, then head on over to Melody Lane for the best in regular clothing that is versatile enough to wear before, during, and after pregnancy! They offer trendy, classic, and comfortable clothing that is hand-picked for all the life stages women usually experience. With nothing over $100, always free shipping, and new styles featured every season, Melody Lane makes sure your “fashion meets life”.

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For more information on pregnancy, check out the EXPECT category!

Photo Credit: Janin S.

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Janin

Janin is a mama to her daughter Emily, working as a Forensic Scientist in the heart of California. She can be found with her husband photographing their baby girl and boxer puppy, while trying to soak up every precious moment as a family of "four." On her free time, she enjoys cooking up a storm, hiking any challenging trail, and exploring all the shores of Lake Tahoe.

Comments (2)

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    Diorytva18

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    I get that this is supposed to be employing crass humor in order to entertain, but the first one in particular is worded incredibly grossly. There are a million of theses ‘things no one told you’ articles (so not unique) but none are quite as gross as this article – even though they are warning about the same things.

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    RVG1984

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    I have never been pregnant, nor am I planning on becoming pregnant any time soon, but personally I thought this article was funny, informative, and not the least bit crass. I really appreciate woman-to-woman sort of articles like this, for clearing some of the societal prudery away from an experience which is so natural and universal.

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