Life As An Interracial Couple: What We Didn’t Realize

“Hmm, I wonder what it’d be like to marry a white guy?” – said me never. Seriously, have you ever thought about what it “would be like” to marry someone of a different race? Perhaps, there may be an underlying curiosity vibe that’s wondering how different another race is. However, when considering the mechanics of a male and female, coming together in love, it’s pretty much the status quo across the board. But there are a few, five to be exact, key things we just didn’t realize as an interracial couple!


1. Hair

“Why didn’t you tell me you do this with your hair?! Wait, those products cost how much?!

Hey, guys… especially white guys… we spend a pretty penny on our hair. Up do’s, co-washes, bonnets, braids, extensions, gels, the hot oil treatments, and yes, curling irons for our naturally curly locks. Some of us get away with spending minimal amounts using homemade hair potions from stuff we already buy, but come on, let’s be real – most of us don’t have the time or the energy to be making a “maybe it works” DIY product. We’d simply rather buy and try till it works. And if all else fails… get new hair for a season.

He’ll understand…


2. What Race To Choose

“What race do you want to be on this application?” – Got options? Our kids do. You’d think by now, especially at the turn of the century, that there would be a mixed race option of some sort on official forms. But lo’ and behold, there isn’t; however, we have recently discovered there’s now the option to “You can choose more than one”. So, which two do we choose, eenie, meenie, minee, mo!

We didn’t realize that we’d actually have to think about this option when filling out insurance forms, or signing your child up for activities. So, pick a race… or two, we’ve got race options for our children we didn’t realize.


3. People Don’t Say Anything

Or rather, they talk MORE readily with you in the case of my husband. Let’s be real, it’s the 21st century, rarely anything isn’t acceptable nowadays; so spotting an interracial couple isn’t exactly the “thing” to stare at anymore so we don’t get many comments (we’ve never had any face to face). However, the white guy noticed that once his black co-workers discovered his beautiful wifey-queen was black… all of a sudden they had something in common. Really?! We could’ve sworn both guys were both of the male species, worked in the same field, and dealt with similar bosses, but yet, having a black spouse somehow brought them closer together.  

You got me on that one. So just to spice it up a bit and play around with his newfound bestie in the “married to black women” group – he’ll bring up the hair dilemma that he genuinely wants to understand.


4. Never Any Damn Sun Block!

Sorry white guy… it’s not on the usual shopping list. Not only that, he times his exposure out in the sun lest he combusts right before our eyes after about 27 minutes. I’m just trying to get everyone a dang towel that they won’t have to share when all their butts are wet and soaking into my upholstery.

All the while, my poor glowing-white husband is just trying to survive in the shady patches from the van to the pool and back again.

The struggle is real, and there are too many brown people who just don’t get it.


5. The Biggest Struggle

Keeping the “racist” comments “in house”. “Wanna play Master tonight”?

Whoops, Mom, seriously, he’s just kidding… kinda.

The real struggle is realizing that we hardly take our races seriously and may unconsciously say something while out in public not realizing, oh crap, we may offend someone else in some way (especially after a couple of glasses of wine). Our friends may pick up on it and if sober enough, we’ll dispel any misunderstandings, but for the most part, we roll with what is funny, care-free, and totally unintentional in the realms of racism. Older folks tend not to find humor in how we sometimes converse with each other, but hey, when it comes down to it… it’s US against them, babe – both races – man & woman – and all the optional kids in tow.

We just didn’t realize it’d be so darn fun playing around with it – especially in front of others – and of course, in the bedroom!

Whether you’ve married another race or not, communication is paramount to any successful relationship; think about Making Love Talk: Communication Made Easy With Your Spouse.

Photo credits: AndiL.

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Andi LaBrune

Andi is all about having a joyous life, living in the present moments. Rocking it out on the homestead with her husband, 9 blessed children and some chickens and ducks, it's home for her in northern VA. She's the voice for Mompreneurs who want to get Sh!7 done! www.IAmCoachAndi.com.

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    Lisa Rose

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    I loved this article Andi! Keep these conversations going!!!!!!

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