Relationships are complicated and change over time, especially our relationships with our mothers. Not everyone grew up with an involved mother in their life. Having a mom absent from your life can be very painful. However, some people were raised by loving and connected moms.
When you are young, it is easy to show your mom that you love her. You can tell her all the time. You make little gifts for her at school. Days begin and end with hugs and kisses. Later on, the sad truth is, many adults, particularly sons, don’t acknowledge their moms or express their love for their moms the way they should. If you are feeling disconnected from your mom, you can reconnect by remembering how amazing your mom is in the first place and by honoring her publicly.
She Loved You First
Your mom has loved you longer than anyone else. She’s the only person that ever loved you without even seeing you. She spent 9 months with you before anyone else. She did everything she could during that time to give you the best start possible. She felt your first movements, kicks, punches and the pain you caused her physically. Our mothers still loved us anyway.
Guess what? Besides the fact you’re her child, that also makes her your first friend. Because she cared for you before anyone else did, it only increases from there.
Remember All She Did For You
Who read you stories? Who cooked and cleaned for you? Who played video games with you? When you fell and got hurt, who picked you up? When you split your lip open playing hockey in the driveway, who brushed you off and got you some ice? When that girl broke your heart who was there again? When you didn’t have money for something, who helped? When you felt sunk and were suffering your worst day… who still loved you?
No matter what life hits you with from injuries, heartbreak and difficulties, your mom is there for you. You may have even experienced the death of a family member, like your father, and your mom is there for you the most, even when she is struggling as well. Never forget what your mom has done for you, no matter how independent you are now.
Honor Her Publicly
Last year on my mother’s birthday, I wrote a post on Facebook; not to impress anyone or for any other reason except for her; for her to see that I still have no problem admitting publicly she’s been a wonderful mother.
In private, someone insinuated that they found it “unmanly”. I wasn’t offended. I’m not easily offended by much of anything. I’ve got thick skin, but what I did feel was sad for them; because much like myself, I know their mother was great to them as well.
The older we get, the easier it becomes to forget just what she’s done for us. Our lives get so busy it can be easy to lose sight. But, before you call it “unmanly” for guys to express their love for their mom; before you make the decision to not acknowledge your mom and the love you have for her; think about how she loved you first and how she has always been there for you in her own way. You will find there’s plenty of reasons to always love your mom and be proud of that love.
Yes, you are an adult now. You may be building your own families much like your parents did. But your parents, especially your mom, still loves you the same way.
Your mom should be part of that family you are building now. It is more than okay to acknowledge your mom. It is necessary! She’s helped mold you to be the person you are today. We should want our kids to know that they have an amazing, strong grandmother. We should want kids to learn the value of appreciating people. We should also want them to love their own mom in that way. One of the best ways we do that is leading by example.
Dedicated to my wonderful mother Denise, Happy 50th Birthday, I love you.
Photo Credit: Camron Bardelli
