Days, weeks, and months went by, but these feelings… the feelings of mistrust, betrayal, depression, stress, and fear, and still having to hold it all together while being a “good” mother, seemed impossible. The marriage was fine, everything was good. There were no hang ups, major fights, or even un-attraction issues, and yet it still happened. It happened, and even though life continued on, there was this standstill. No movement forward nor backward. Nothing but the betrayal, the affair – it was the existence of the marriage: The Affair. Life still moved forward, mothering had to be done, so just keep it together, right?
Posts Tagged ‘divorce’
I’m separated… from my husband of would-have-been nine years this past spring. There’s no need to go into the gory details that led to the most tumultuous time in my young life of 29 years. If you’ve been married for any significant length of time, then you probably have a good idea of what can go wrong. I didn’t expect this, though. I wasn’t the wife who one day woke up and stopped loving her husband, or who decided she wanted different things, or just hated his quirks and decided to jump ship. I was side swiped. Never saw it coming. Until it did… and for the last 12 months, I’ve been trying to understand what went wrong, baffled how I never saw parts of it beginning to unravel, and coming to grips with what my new future is to hold, which still is a mysterious black hole looming in front of me.
Arguments, misunderstandings, the kids, and overall busyness of life are the makings for a strained marriage if left unchecked. So what do you do if this has been left unchecked for way too long? Tolerate it? Live in it anyway and hope that things will get better just going through the same mundane motions day after day? If you are expecting a different outcome while relying on hope alone, continuing through the motions… let’s face it, you could use a bit of the love spark in your life. How about 30 days of LoveSparkMe?
Raise your hand if you love The Walking Dead! We are big fans here at Daily Mom. We’ve been watching for years. For many of us, our love for The Walking Dead began before our children were even born. What makes this show so excellent isn’t the gross zombies and special effects, it is the character development. We learn lessons right along with the characters. As they change, we change and we take away new things to think about after every episode. They might be surviving a zombie apocalypse but we are surviving parenthood and some days, that feels like the same thing. Spoiler Alert! If you aren’t caught up through Season 6, please don’t read this. With Season 7 premiering, we thought we would bring you 10 parenting lessons from The Walking Dead.
According to a recent study by the legal website, Avvo, having a partner is more important to men. Specifically, 20% more women than men report that they’d rather be “alone, successful, and happy, than in a relationship where they’re not happy.” Also, 12% more women agree with the statement, “I don’t regret my divorce,” than men.
Twenty and twelve percent are big differences, statistically speaking. They demonstrate a shockingly acute disparity between the genders. While it’s likely that there are many factors at play here, my suspicion is that the greatest is hidden not in biology, but in culture.
It’s no secret that successful marriages can be hard work, and it’s completely normal for couples to encounter rough water at times throughout the marriage. In fact, it’s completely inevitable. There will come a time when disagreements and differences cannot be resolved between a couple, so seeking outside counsel is important in saving the marriage. It takes extreme bravery to walk into a strangers office and divulge some of your deepest, darkest secrets, and the mere thought of doing so can make one weary. If you feel that marriage counseling is your last resort, here are some points to consider for both yourself and your partner to ensure that you’re both getting the most out of your time, effort and money!
There is no shortage of controversy and judgement surrounding stepmothers. According to Winning Stepfamilies, with 60% of marriages in the US ending in divorce, 65% of them result in remarriage with children, creating a blended family. Chances are, you know or will encounter a stepmother in your circle of friends. While you’ll probably give them advice or make comments that you think are well-meaning, sometimes you might say things that can be hurtful or counterproductive.
Devastation. Wreckage. Anger. Strife. Resentment. Battle.
This is the standard course for lots of divorces. Worse, when children are stuck in it, they get war torn, emotionally batted around, and traumatized. Couples typically do not separate and saw their vows in half without a pretty painful reason. Are you tired of the fight? Sick of the anxiety and back-and-forth? Flipping the script may be as easy as assessing yourself and making different choices about how you relate, in a conscious decision to partner with your ex-spouse.
In the step-family community, there is heated debate on what stepchildren should call their stepparents. True, a child can have only one bio-mom, but does that mean a stepmother isn’t a mother? Can a child be loyal to both dad and stepdad without hurting either parent?
People are passionate about their children, and when you factor in a blended family, it can be difficult for a child to decipher what he should or shouldn’t do and say. Parents in a blended family all have their own opinions; they each genuinely believe they know what is best for the child; and they all come from very different backgrounds. With these opinions comes polarizing debate on what exactly stepchildren should call stepparents.
Whatever the case, my stepson calls me mom. Here’s why.
Divorce conjures up mental images of “War of the Roses.” A battling couple convinced that each will outdo the other and “win.” Many real-life divorces end up just this way, with the same finale too: self injury, hurt, bitterness, and chaos in a valiant attempt to avenge the Ex’s wrongdoing. That is dangerous enough for a couple without children, but wreaks multiplied levels of destruction when children are involved. No matter the stage of divorce you are in, the steps below will help enable a stronger co-parenting relationship. This is the real deal.
Divorce is so commonplace. Right now you can immediately think of a hand full of people in some stage of the divorce process. Of all of those people, is there one couple who are both better off in a great place, happy that they divorced or are divorcing, with bright, happy, healthy, balanced children? For being such an everyday occurrence, there is a lot of hush-hush and shame about it. The job of your family is to love and support you. The job of your friends is to rally around you and help you tune your war cry. The job of your children is to be kids. Here are a few details of divorce none of them know or will be bold enough to say.