I am a seasoned breastfeeding mother. I have been through the trenches not once, but twice. I have spent hours trying to get my babies to latch correctly, silently clenching my teeth, tears streaming down my face as stabbing pain shot through my raw, bleeding nipples. I’ve rocked hysterical babies through the wee hours of the night as they struggled with reflux, and sat in a zombie-like state for days, during marathon cluster feedings. I have a permanent scar on my left nipple from a newly sprouted tooth. I spent hours attached to a machine, urging my body to produce milk via pump, often with very little luck. I’ve compressed clogged ducts in the shower, painful to the slightest touch, and have woken up to rock hard breasts and drenched sheets. I’ve been there, Mama. I’ve been through it all. And I just want you, the new breastfeeding mom who’s struggling to get through the day, to know, it’s all going to be ok.
Posts Tagged ‘mom’
Lately, my children have been telling me that I look beautiful. I have to admit, I take a moment – just a few seconds – each time they look at me with those sparkling, wondrous eyes and truly genuine smiles, and compliment my appearance in unadulterated admiration and awe, and I bask in the feeling it gives me. It’s been a long time since someone has acknowledged my outer beauty. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know the reason why.
From the moment my son was born nearly 6 years ago, motherhood just swallowed me whole. It consumed all of me, wrapped me up in its massive arms and held me hostage. It took hold of my heart, and my love became singularly focused on my little creation. It syphoned my energy – every ounce of it – and left me with what so often in those early days felt like the shell of a person, depleted and barely functioning, but surviving on baby snuggles and a euphoric new sense of worth. In other, far less poetic words, I looked like a walking zombie.
Being a mom is amazing. You get to give birth to an amazing little person who you get to help raise into an amazing human being. But the choices you make along the way are often scrutinized by everybody you encounter, from the other moms at preschool to your friends and family, to complete strangers with whom you’ll never actually have a conversation. For some reason moms tend to let all of these judgments make them feel ashamed of their choices and feel the need to justify them to everyone they encounter.
While you shouldn’t feel ashamed of the choices you and your partner make for your family, here are eight things you should absolutely never feel ashamed about as a mom.
There are things in this world that we moms cling to for our sanity. Each one of us has something different that allows us to escape the realities of poopy diapers, fights over the same Barbie shoe, and children who think sleep is the actual devil. But there are certain things that are universal to all moms, things that we can all relate to, knowingly nodding our heads yes as we remember that time when our child also threw an epic temper tantrum in the pillow aisle of Target. They are things that we see, do, and keep close to ourselves because they are what makes us feel like more than “mom” or simply allow us to let our minds rests for five seconds. And like our real-life BFFs, these non-human BFFs listen to our venting, take our minds off the piles of laundry and dishes, and make us feel like actual people.
Plants are the foundation of our food web. Every living thing depends on them. Plant growth is stimulated by the sun and rainfall. We must understand the importance of plants and how they are of vital importance to our planet – plants clean our air, help prevent erosion, they provide habitats, help keep our environment steady, and they can even provide important medicines. We must protect our earth, and we must teach our kids how and why plants are important early on. Start simple and explain the very basics so our kids grow up learning the importance of plants in our world.
The research is clear pertaining to the many benefits of exercise. Yet, as moms, we tend to push off the need for exercise – or basically anything that involves ourselves. We make excuses – no time, too tired, we don’t know how, we can’t afford it – you name it, we’ve said it. But the truth is, excuses are just excuses – they don’t make us better, they don’t make us stronger – the only way to get better is to work harder, work better, and try harder. The excuses for exercise become our excuses for life; if we continue to not put ourselves first, we will fall into a habitual routine of never taking care of ourselves. It’s more than just exercise, it’s who we are – if we are truly important to ourselves, we’d make time for us, to be the person we want to be.
Have you ever been handed a mommy business card? You probably thought that mom was straight-up crazy. The small, rectangular-shaped card may have served as a poster promotion of “STAY AWAY, I’M CRAZY.”
Only the more you got to know this mom, you realized she wasn’t crazy. And you all of a sudden kind of, sort of, possibly loved the idea of a piece of paper that you could easily slip to a friend to give and get each other’s info. While moms are responsible for the sippy cups, Nuks, stuffies, koosh balls, and random hair barrettes, there simply aren’t enough hands to program someone’s contact info into your phone while your little ones (not-so-patiently) wait next to your waist.
Sending my first baby off to kindergarten is a huge milestone for our family, finally concluding the end of toddlerhood, the first test of how well did I prepare her for the real world. Perhaps sending her to kindergarten is more than just a milestone: it’s her first flight in the big world. The biggest lesson she needs to learn doesn’t have to do with numbers, letters, or sight words – it is understanding this world is bigger than ourselves. A world that isn’t protected by Mommies and Daddies, where big sisters don’t chase all the monsters away, and little brothers aren’t always there to play – a world with confrontation, beautiful songs, and great sadness – a world that is hers for the taking.
The benefits of homework are debatable. The National Parent Teacher Association recommends 10 minutes per night for first graders, then adding 10 minutes per grade level for each succeeding year. High schoolers taking advanced or college classes may have more. Homework amounts vary per teacher and per school. And sadly, many teachers and schools do not follow the recommended guidelines put forth by the PTA; instead, even kindergartners are spending 20+ minutes a night on homework.
It seems like more and more moms are bombarded with perfection. The need to portray this picture perfect life – partly it’s our own fault – unfollow, unplug, delete social media – but yet we cannot. For one reason or another we love social media too much to get rid of it. It does serve a purpose – it allows us to connect to those we love, share memories, pictures, and videos across the miles. But it also can bring us down. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Right?
Sex: It feels great for some; other times, it may feel more dutiful than pleasurable and satisfying. If you are thinking that a “duty” has to be performed, then yes, it may not do much for you as far as getting to the pleasure-zone. However, what if you came to the realization that, Mom, you need sex in your life? You need to feel the proven health benefits of sex in order to complete you as a healthy holistic being… and yes, that includes you as a mother. Ready to explore the proven health benefits of why a mom needs sex and turn any feelings of ‘its a duty’ into a pleasure-prescription for lasting health and vitality?
Schools, schools, and more schools. In this country, we are blessed to have so many schools to choose from, however the choices can be overwhelming. There are so many different types it is hard to know where your child will find his/her best fit. The first step is to understand your options, know what each type of school has to offer, and begin narrowing down the schools in your area from there. Luckily for you we’ve done the first part of the homework for you and compiled a list that explains the different types of schools across the nation.
Online shopping has taken on a new form when it comes to buying that Persnickety dress your 3-month old is sure to grow out of as soon as she wears it once, or even the essentials such as cloth diapers and baby wearing gear. Facebook has its very own underground world of Buy/Sell/Trade groups (BST) for just about anything you can think of. An added bonus is that most items are marked down by 70-80% off the original price, and still in excellent condition. But, buyer beware: here are the top 10 tips for completing smooth transactions with other mama’s in these groups.
Education is the most important tool we can use to change the world around us. In today’s world, science plays a huge part in the future of the world. The sad part is that not all schools promote science in early education. That is why parents should help to bridge the gap and educate our children on the vast world of science. Young children learn by hands-on activities and by naturally exploring their world. Experimentation can help foster their learning. Below is a simple pH experiment to help get things rolling.
If there’s not one million and one things to do, someone is asking you to do seven more things on top of that, all within the next hour! The last thing you want to do to start to lose weight with everything else going on is exercise. We get it. If we can give you the best advice, then don’t exercise! That’s boring. Instead, get a strong, sexy core without doing one sit-up or crunch while toning your arms, butt, and legs with Latin DanceSport, Jaana Kunitz. Experience the easiest eight to fifteen minutes you have in between your chaotic schedule (because we ALL really do have 8-15 minutes with the 10-minute abs workout; just time yourself going through Facebook feeds). Good; once you have that mapped out, you don’t even have to leave your bedroom; use a smartphone, tablet, iPad, or your computer, and roll those juicy hips of yours to the exciting and fun rhythm of the Figure 8 fitness program – we mean, who doesn’t want a sexy strong core, eliminating the belly fat after having some babies?