I’m separated… from my husband of would-have-been nine years this past spring. There’s no need to go into the gory details that led to the most tumultuous time in my young life of 29 years. If you’ve been married for any significant length of time, then you probably have a good idea of what can go wrong. I didn’t expect this, though. I wasn’t the wife who one day woke up and stopped loving her husband, or who decided she wanted different things, or just hated his quirks and decided to jump ship. I was side swiped. Never saw it coming. Until it did… and for the last 12 months, I’ve been trying to understand what went wrong, baffled how I never saw parts of it beginning to unravel, and coming to grips with what my new future is to hold, which still is a mysterious black hole looming in front of me.
Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Although we spend every day with our children, one-on-one personal moments are hard to come by given our busy schedules. Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s as important to dedicate quality time with each of our children individually as it is to have date nights with our spouses. Not only does it make your child feel special, it gives the two of you a chance to get to know each other in a different light.
“The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.” ~Albert Ellis
There are two very valuable lessons about love that could be a cure for our broken relationships and dissatisfying sex lives: Love does not come made to order; and we must be willing to ask for what we want. These two common misunderstandings about the limits of our relationships can wreak havoc in the development and maturity of many long-term partnerships. Maybe it is the fault of reading too many romantic novels or being brought up in an Ozzie & Harritet-like culture of happily ever after, but the sad and happy truth of real and lasting loving relationships is that we don’t have control over how other people love us. This truth becomes very clear when it’s combined with the belief that other people should know what we feel (or want) from love without having to tell them – and suddenly – the brokenness of our collective love lives.
Becoming a big sister or brother is exciting enough. Sibling friendships that last through adulthood are endlessly rewarding. And then becoming an aunt or uncle is extra over-the-top fun that extends the sibling-friendship rewards into a new generation and all by choice, not requirement.
Making a marriage (or any relationship) last can be difficult, especially when you throw kids, schedules and work in the mix. Now take that mix and separate it by hundreds of miles. Long-distance relationships are difficult to manage, but can be done as long as you have patience, trust, love and a few tips along the way.
What once came second nature as a child, is now one of the hardest things to do as an adult. No longer in need of a friend at the lunch table, we now need friends capable of much bigger duties: holding our child’s hand when we can’t, lending an ear while weighing a difficult decision, or providing a shoulder during a tragic event. Making friends amidst life’s crazy adventures has many adults trying to figure out exactly how to bypass the initial awkwardness to ultimately find that close circle of friends, but as we will soon explain, you should try to embrace it fully and throw yourself out there.
It’s time to start thinking of your plans for Valentine’s Day. If you’re lucky enough to be able to get a babysitter, then by all means, take that route and have a night out on the town. But, if the kiddos are stuck home with you on this romantic evening or if you just want to bypass the reservations, lovey-dovey crowds, and take a less traditional approach to your Valentine’s date, then we are here to help. We have come up with three fun and romantic Valentine’s Day date ideas that you can enjoy from the comfort of your own home.
When you’re dating, you absorb information about your significant other like a sponge. You dissect his words, searching for deeper meanings. You peel back the layers of his stories, clinging to each delicious detail in hopes of uncovering even more insight into who he was, who he is and who he might become. You stare at his smile, taking mental note of all of the things that bring it to the surface of his intriguing face. You observe his mannerisms, keeping tabs on what makes him tick. You find yourself craving knowledge about him every time you’re in his presence, and even when you’re not. You want to know all there is to know about this new person in your life. You want to understand what makes him the man you find yourself falling in love with.
She’s full of unsolicited advice. This lady thinks that she knows how to live your life better than you do, and offers her pearls of wisdom at every turn. From your relationship with your partner to your finances, career, friends and children, she’s never without something to say. Nearly every sentence she says starts with “my kid would never…” You’re tired of convincing yourself that she means well. She’s opened her mouth and overstepped her bounds again, and it’s time to set her straight before you lose your cool and flip a table in true “Real Housewives of New Jersey” fashion. Sound like someone you know? Learn how to handle your know-it-all friend.
Once you become a parent, your primary focus shifts from your spouse or significant other to your children. Gone are the days of spontaneous, drawn out date nights and hours of privacy. While having children can form a new, deep bond in a relationship, it can also send romance to the back burner. You need to realize that it is going to take some work on your part to keep the spark flying between you and your partner. Here are six tips to help amp up the romance in your relationship.
No expectant mother wants to envision their labor ending with a c-section, but that’s your first lesson in motherhood: expect the unexpected. It is not uncommon to feel an array of negative emotions after having an unplanned c-section. Plan ahead of time for everything that could happen during labor so that whatever road your birth story travels, you will be as happy as possible.