I’m separated… from my husband of would-have-been nine years this past spring. There’s no need to go into the gory details that led to the most tumultuous time in my young life of 29 years. If you’ve been married for any significant length of time, then you probably have a good idea of what can go wrong. I didn’t expect this, though. I wasn’t the wife who one day woke up and stopped loving her husband, or who decided she wanted different things, or just hated his quirks and decided to jump ship. I was side swiped. Never saw it coming. Until it did… and for the last 12 months, I’ve been trying to understand what went wrong, baffled how I never saw parts of it beginning to unravel, and coming to grips with what my new future is to hold, which still is a mysterious black hole looming in front of me.
Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Communication. It’s either pleasant, misunderstood, loving, hurtful, or just down right dirty! Any way you spin it, you have much more control over the conversation than you may realize. Consider how a response to certain words can be controlled through conscious, intentional thoughts, or a fly-by-the mill reaction I’ll-probably-regret-this-later-but-oh-well kind of response. Love talk – it’s keeping it real, honest, respectful, simple, and easy, especially with those you love the most.
Parenting is one of the noblest privileges known to mankind, and like anything worthwhile it comes with particular challenges and lessons to be learned along the way. Making mistakes and fumbling around a bit can be a vital part of the adventure and the learning process. That’s if we recognize our failures, and use them to hone our parenting skills as we press on bravely raising our kids as best we know how. Sitting back and taking stock every once in awhile is a valuable exercise which can help you go forward with renewed insight. This article will describe how to avoid ten typical blunders and stumbles which can easily happen along the parenting road. With these few tips under your belt, hopefully you can dust yourself off and continue on parenting… with a smile.
According to a recent study by the legal website, Avvo, having a partner is more important to men. Specifically, 20% more women than men report that they’d rather be “alone, successful, and happy, than in a relationship where they’re not happy.” Also, 12% more women agree with the statement, “I don’t regret my divorce,” than men.
Twenty and twelve percent are big differences, statistically speaking. They demonstrate a shockingly acute disparity between the genders. While it’s likely that there are many factors at play here, my suspicion is that the greatest is hidden not in biology, but in culture.
Your toddler is excited about a play date, then the play date gets going and all hell breaks loose. You thought your kid was friends with the other kid so why are they fighting like pro wrestlers now? Your fifth grader comes home from school with her feelings hurt. There is a group of girls in her class that have formed a clique and excluded others from their little group. Should you talk to the teacher? Your son has started high school and all of a sudden he has a falling out with his best friend from middle school. They are fighting and you aren’t sure why. He seems really affected by it though. Maybe you should call his friend’s mother and work something out between the two of you.
“The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.” ~Albert Ellis
There are two very valuable lessons about love that could be a cure for our broken relationships and dissatisfying sex lives: Love does not come made to order; and we must be willing to ask for what we want. These two common misunderstandings about the limits of our relationships can wreak havoc in the development and maturity of many long-term partnerships. Maybe it is the fault of reading too many romantic novels or being brought up in an Ozzie & Harritet-like culture of happily ever after, but the sad and happy truth of real and lasting loving relationships is that we don’t have control over how other people love us. This truth becomes very clear when it’s combined with the belief that other people should know what we feel (or want) from love without having to tell them – and suddenly – the brokenness of our collective love lives.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where they unfortunately fall into a rut. Ruts can be a result of many things, but sometimes they occur when you realize you have no time to do anything for yourself, but rather you are drawn to doing things solely for your family, friends and your career. Because of this, when you are left alone, you experience negative feelings that only build up, causing you to fall into a rut and then possibly even into a mild to severe form of depression. How can you find your way out of this rut? Do you try to determine the root cause of what’s putting you into the rut and get proactive about fixing it or do nothing?
Here are some easy things you can do to find your way out of a rut:
Becoming a big sister or brother is exciting enough. Sibling friendships that last through adulthood are endlessly rewarding. And then becoming an aunt or uncle is extra over-the-top fun that extends the sibling-friendship rewards into a new generation and all by choice, not requirement.
Remember when your children were young and you did everything to prepare them to be on their own one day. The leaving of the nest per se. They did leave, they were successful on their own and you finally adjusted to the empty nest. Yet for a number of different reasons, you get the call, “Dad, Mom, can I move back home? Just temporarily. I promise, it won’t be that bad.” As their parent, what can you say, you want to help your children out. So you agree. This time though it isn’t just your son or daughter. It may be their spouse, their children and even their pets. Your empty nest has become full again. Except this time, you are older, wiser and physically more tired. Your energy levels are not what they were when you were younger, and not only are they moving their physical bodies back home, but a good portion of their belongings too. More bodies equals more, well, everything!
So how do you all survive? Here are 10 tips on how to live with your kids — again!
Chances are, you flew the coop a while ago. Whether it’s been 15 years or 15 months, that time of living with your parents is gone. You grow up, freedom becomes yours, and you’re either eager to leave or you’re pushed out the door. You never really think a time will come again when you’re knocking on that all too familiar door, suitcase in hand, butterflies in your stomach, ready to tell the ‘rents that you’re back. No matter what the reason for your return, if you’re planning on living with your parents again, either on a short term or long term basis, there are ways to help make the transition and the long days of living there more bearable, if not a tad bit enjoyable. Here’s how…
Living far from your extended family can be tough, especially when raising kids. The majority of parents want their children to have close relationships with their extended family, but because of work or other circumstances, it isn’t possible to actually live close. Living far away doesn’t mean your kids can’t have amazing relationships with everyone in your family. Here are 4 ideas to guide you in fostering relationships with family far away.
As a new mom, we’ve all had that awkward moment where we are not sure if we can ask another mom for advice about feeding because we are afraid to start a breast vs. bottle debate.
If you feed your infant formula, breastfeeding moms think you don’t care about the health of your baby. If you are a breastfeeding mom, formula feeding moms think you are an exhibitionist that feels superior to them. A few extremely negative people may hold those opinions. However, the overwhelming majority of moms just do the best they can and spend more time feeling judged themselves rather than actually judging others.
It’s time to start thinking about having sex again. What? That doesn’t sounds appealing? Whether it be the fear of pain or your physical changes psyching you out, you’re not alone on wanting to skip out on your once-favorite nighttime activity. We have a few tips to get you back in the swing of things, when you’re ready.
When you’re dating, you absorb information about your significant other like a sponge. You dissect his words, searching for deeper meanings. You peel back the layers of his stories, clinging to each delicious detail in hopes of uncovering even more insight into who he was, who he is and who he might become. You stare at his smile, taking mental note of all of the things that bring it to the surface of his intriguing face. You observe his mannerisms, keeping tabs on what makes him tick. You find yourself craving knowledge about him every time you’re in his presence, and even when you’re not. You want to know all there is to know about this new person in your life. You want to understand what makes him the man you find yourself falling in love with.
It’s no secret that life changes in many amazing and challenging ways when a little baby arrives on the scene. Parents have nine months to stock the nursery, wash the onesies, and read the parenting books before bringing home their bundle of joy. However, not much is said about how Junior’s arrival will impact perhaps the most important relationship in the family: the parents’ marriage.