Mommin’ isn’t easy – especially for first-time moms. In the few short days (or day) to follow the birth of your fresh, little bundle, you have a handful of round-the-clock doctors and nurses peeking their heads into your room every 10 minutes, changing pads, taking temps, primping and pruning, and answering all of your questions. But the second your OBGYN clears you and your new babe, you’re patted on the back and gently pushed out the door with a “farewell” and “good luck.” Now what?
Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Nobody said marriage would be easy. And you certainly don’t hear people tossing around phrases like “it’s all rainbows and butterflies” when describing those first few years of parenthood. I’ve been married for 8 years, and a mother for 4 and a half of those years. The first 4 years of our married life were full of self-discovery and growth as individuals and as husband and wife. Then, just as we were getting comfortable in our new roles, our first child was born, and life became a series of chaotic days turned to months turned to years that sent us down the path of self-discovery once again.
Making a baby is one of the most natural things in the world, but for some it doesn’t come naturally. For those people, the months tend to drag on, and that second pink line never comes. For those who have problems conceiving, sex tends to become a chore rather than an intimate moment that you look forward to.
Today, we dive into the wacky world of trying to conceive.
Have you seen a twitter feed recently that proclaimed “The Beauty of the Dad Bod”? Did you have to do a double take? If you have never heard the phrase before – have a little fun and do an image search on Google for “Dad Bod”.
The first thing that comes up will likely be a man who once resembled Jay Gatsby, Howard Hughes, and Romeo. That’s right, Leonardo Decaprio himself put on a couple pounds and now has a paunch. Wherefore art thou Romeo? He went to the bar and had an extra beer and a bowl of pretzels to work on his physique.
That’s right, the current en vogue body, at least for some segment of the population, is one that doesn’t resemble Matthew McConaughey. In fact it probably looks more like…
Clean, folded laundry and coffee in the kitchen,
Freshly bathed children and matching socks and mittens,
Date night and showers and wearing earrings,
These are a few of our favorite things!
As moms, we work hard. And, in return? We ask for a solo shopping trip every once in a while, the occasional pedicure, maybe a monthly date night. In honor of Mother’s Day, we compiled a list of our favorite things as moms — things that get us excited and giddy and heel-clickingly happy!
Do you remember the joy of strolling through the grocery aisles at your leisure, sipping on Starbucks, flipping through your organized coupon book, price comparing peanut butter for a good 10 minutes, and picking out the most expensive, hours-spent-researching bottle of wine? Yup, those were the days. The good ‘ol grocery shopping days that you won’t get back for the next 18 or so years.
Any mom out there knows that you can never simply “go grocery shopping.” The whole process from getting the kids out the door to the store and home again becomes an epic battle, complete with tears from everyone, lots of yelling, and many a forgotten item. This is compounded when you add a toddler or two to the mix. But don’t despair, there is a way to grocery shop with toddlers in tow and come out of the checkout line alive, complete with your bottle of wine (some things never change). Here’s how!
Motherhood is hard, we all expect it. When you are first pregnant you prepare for everything you can: you pick the perfect crib, the perfect bedding, the perfect rocker. You research every birth option, every diaper, every bottle. You make lists for everything, compare, contrast and decide. Then your little bundle of joy is born and they grow and grow and grow- then all the things that you couldn’t prepare for begin to happen. Never did you realize how complicated life would get. Even if you’re the most organized person you can have days where you feel like your life is spinning out of control and you are powerless to stop it. Being a mom at home is hard enough, but when that fateful day comes and you finally decide to leave the house- never could you have imagined how hard that would be; how time consuming, how challenging. Why do these little people a quarter of your size make it so hard to get the heck out of the house on time? We’re here to share some of the honest reasons moms around the world are notoriously late- and 9 1/2 times out of 10 they are not our fault.
Whether you’re no where near ready for a baby, you’re currently preparing to conceive or you’ve already had that bundle of joy, we all know of those tell-tale signs of pregnancy. First and foremost, there’s the missed period and positive pregnancy test. Then comes the growing belly, and finally the baby. But even before your pregnancy test shows you that positive, your body is trying to let you in on the good news. Some of you may not know all the other signs and symptoms of pregnancy, the ones no one talks about. We’re here to shed some light on the subject. Read on for some insight into the body (and mind) of a newly pregnant woman. You might be pregnant if….
Picture this: you’re with your child, having a jolly time playing with Little People and that precious face looks up at you with her big eyes and huge grin and says “Mommy, watch Einsteins!” Time stops…your heart skips a beat…and in that moment you quickly realize you need to remain calm. You take a deep breath and look lovingly at your beautiful daughter and say “Ok sweetie!” while simultaneously squelching your need to scream “NOOOOOOOO!”
Photo Credit: The Whimsical Photographer
You have checked and double-checked, in fact you probably tested with 3 home pregnancy kits and still aren’t sure that you believe it. You’re pregnant! Before you start buying your nursery furniture online, you have to tell those who mean the most to you! Here we have compiled a variety of ways, some popular and some original, for you to surprise your sweetie or family with this important news.
Are you currently pregnant, yet find yourself completely turned off from reading informational pregnancy books? Sometimes, you just want to be able to read a book, and relate to the funny parts of pregnancy (fart jokes, anyone?). If reading light-hearted books is more your thing, the below list will be sure to tickle both you, and your partner’s, funny bone.