Has your relationship taken a seat on the lazy train? Have kids and career and life gotten in your way and you’d like to shake things up a bit? If this is you, then pay attention, because the following strategy may just help. While there are many ways to rekindle your relationship, many of which are enjoyable and worthwhile, there is one unique strategy that can be extremely helpful: a sex challenge! So put your inhibitions aside and get ready for a month that will blow your mind!
It’s Not Just You: Many Couples Feel This
Many couples find that after the realities of life settle in, their relationship takes a cozy little seat as an afterthought in the back of their mind. It becomes routine. Careers. Kids. All of the obligations you have on your list. Each part drains you a little bit more. Intimacy and sex often end up the last item on your “to-do” list for the day. And what usually happens to that last item on your “to-do” list? Yup, it doesn’t get done. It’s understandable, and you are certainly not alone.
Time becomes a major issue. Or, you become so physically exhausted that by the end of the day you just don’t have the energy for each other, let alone the energy for sex. You take one look at the bed, flop down, and fall right asleep. Because you give of yourself so much, it puts a certain strain on your relationship because you forget to give time to the most important part of your relationship–your partner!
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Your relationship does not have to stay stagnant. This sex challenge will help! And first of all, the mere fact that you have noticed this and want to change it means there is hope for your relationship. While there are many things you can do to regain the intimacy you once shared…remember, intimacy comes in various forms…this sex challenge will certainly help your connection and intimacy level overall.
The sex-challenge adventure can spice up your relationship and will benefit you and your partner in many ways. Are ready to take on the sex challenge and move your relationship to the top of your list? Well, throw your inhibitions aside, and get to getting it on.
30 Day Sex Challenge: How It Works
The 30-Day Sex Challenge is inspired by Rachel Hollis, who, in her book Girl, Wash Your Face, explains how something like this helped jump-start her marriage after it started sinking like the Titanic. The sex challenge, or adventure, is to create a goal with your partner to have sex a set amount of times per week for 30 days. It’s called a sex CHALLENGE for a reason. Because if you are reading this and finding that you feel like you connect to this article because your relationship is a bit dull, then many things have taken over your life and your sex life has faded away. And you WANT to fix it.
When your relationship has become routine and mundane, you NEED a sex challenge to pick it back up. Remember, humans are sexual beings, and when you are intimate with the right person, your overall relationship becomes more like fireworks and less like a boat stuck on a sandbar.
Therefore, to get started with this sex challenge, you and your partner first need to decide on a few things. For instance, how many days out of the week you would like to dedicate to this challenge? Keep it realistic, but also keep it challenging. If you already have sex once a week, liven it up a little and go for five days. You do not need to plan which days, but you need to pick a number to reach for the sex challenge to work. Four of the seven days in a week? Six? Heck, all seven? Go for it! Have fun!
Next, you must agree to your terms. Illnesses and emergencies aside, agree to commit to the sex challenge one way or another. Even if you’re tired or you lack the time, you do it anyway. You can find a little window of your day, even if it means staying up a little later at night. Hey, it will at least make you sleep better! If you’re tired, take turns being the one who’s working a bit harder. (Wink, wink!)
You also must agree on the way you’d like to approach this. Are you going to use whatever time you can to complete the goal for the day and be completely spontaneous? Perhaps each day is different and one day you have a sliver of time before the kids wake up, and the next day you find some time right before bed. One day it’s while the kids are napping and the next it’s while they are with their grandmother. The fun part is that you get to figure out, together, how you will fit it in without stressing yourselves out. Remember, this sex challenge is supposed to be enjoyable!
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Additionally, include some other goals. Do you want to make sure that each of you enjoys yourself, no matter what? Or is it just important to you that you give it a go? Are “quickies” going to count or are you dedicating a set time to be together for the day? Talk about it and set your rules. Setting these together will create more intimacy right from the start and the anticipation will begin to build! Also, you and your partner must be on the same page for this sex challenge to work. You do not want to take on this adventure with any hesitancies.
Lastly, you must make the promise that even if you aren’t “in the mood,” you will commit to achieving your goal. 95% of the success of this sex challenge is showing up with the willingness to put in the time. Even if you’re not “in the mood,” once you get started, that just may change. And as the days go on, you might just start looking forward to your “time” together. Again…the anticipation is pretty amazing.
Reaping the Benefits: It’s Good for Your Physical Health
There is some science to back up the fact that having a healthy sex life is a positive part of your life. According to the Center for Women’s Health, there are many health benefits to a healthy sex life, which is part of the goal of this sex challenge. Having a healthy sex life can ward off depression and increase your libido. It can lower your blood pressure! Therefore, not only is this beneficial to the state of your relationship, but it is also beneficial to your physical health.
Men also gain some of the same health benefits. Plus, men get the benefit of lowering their chances of getting prostate cancer. Having more sex can help ease chronic pain. It also improves the immune system and can even give a boost to one’s brainpower. There are physical health benefits to sex all around.
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While you may not feel these effects right away, by creating a healthy sex life for yourself, you are not going to lose out on anything. There is so much to gain. A person who feels good physically will undoubtedly become more physical during the day. When you feel good, you do the things you need to do and enjoy the things you like doing.
Reaping the Benefits: It’s Good for Your Mental Health
Did you know that sex helps boost your serotonin? According to Dana McNell of The Relationship Place, serotonin, the feel-good chemical in your body, gets a boost from sex. And you get an even bigger boost if you have an orgasm! Serotonin affects your mood, and when in balance you are generally happier and in a better frame of mind. Additionally, sex can help increase your self-esteem and can give you better sleep. Sleep is incredibly important for our mental health.
All of the benefits of this sex challenge can create a healthier you.
Furthermore, in an article written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne titled “Why Sex is So Good for Your Relationship”, she writes of a study completed to see how having a healthy sex life can help a relationship. There are many positives cited in the study, but ultimately it stated that “sex predicts affection and affection, in turn, predicts sexual activity.” Many people really love feeling more affection from their partner. That’s another reason why rekindling your relationship should include having more sex. Therefore, this 30 Day Sex Challenge honestly is meant to help your relationship in the long run.
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Where you take it after the 30 days is up to you, but all signs point to a closer, more affectionate, healthier, and more positive relationship. This sex challenge will transform your lifestyle. It’s a win-win situation!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Make Sure It’s Fun
Setbacks may happen, and that’s OK. Maybe one of you gets sick. Maybe one of you needs to take a trip for business. Don’t stress about it! Again, this sex challenge is supposed to be stress-free. Just roll with the punches and do what you can to achieve your goal. As they say, get right back on that horse! Start again. This should not be a source of anxiety for you, and it should not be a source of tension between you and your partner. If it is, then it is not working. The sex challenge should be pleasurable and challenging in the most exciting way.
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Additionally, and especially if sex has been the last thing on your list for a while, it may take some time to get back to the “spiciness” of it. Give it time. The only way you are going to fail in this challenge is if you give up. As long as you are dedicated to living this adventure with each other, you should not sweat the small stuff.
The idea is to make this sex challenge a welcome adventure for you and your partner, and if you worry about every little thing then it is not going to be gratifying. In the end, it should bring you closer and build more affection in the relationship. This sex challenge should restart that spark you once had for each other. And it should have a positive effect on your life in general.
Let the Adventure Begin
There are a plethora of ways in which this 30 Day Sex Challenge can benefit you, your partner, and your relationship together. As long as you are responsible adults and treat this challenge respectfully, you will reap the benefits. A healthier, spicier, more exciting relationship is right on the horizon if you choose to get there. Now all you need is to map out your route and begin the journey.
Want to Read More?
Check out this article on Sex After Babies: It Takes Time and Practice.
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