Temper tantrums are 100% normal, despite being inconvenient, annoying, frustrating, and downright mindboggling, children of various ages will experience temper tantrums. Handling a temper tantrum is never easy, but can be easier to navigate if you know a little more about what is going on in your child’s mind and body during that time. Although you may not be able to fully control temper tantrums, knowing the steps that can trigger and help your child will benefit the whole family.
What is a Temper Tantrum?
Temper tantrums are not meant to hurt your feelings, or make you feel bad or guilty even if you feel that while it is happening. They are simply when your child can not get their body and feelings in line with each other. Temper tantrums are not only common, but they are completely normal. Eventually, kids mostly grow out of temper tantrums, or at least the frequency and intensity of the temper tantrums will lessen.
Growing kids can not comprehend and understand their big emotions, from anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness or just being overwhelmed they “flip their lid” aka the dreaded temper tantrum. When this happens, they are literally asking for help, because they know they are out of control, but have no idea how to help themselves. Although it may seem as if they don’t want your help as they kick and scream at you, they need you more than ever, once they are willing and able to accept that help.
Temper tantrums can also be a product of kids feeling as if they are having their basic needs taken away. For example, you hand your toddler water in a blue cup only to find out they want it in a green cup and completely melt down, over what seems to us, nothing. However, to them, they are feeling that by not getting water in a green cup you are denying them water, silly to you, but that is how primitive their needs and reactions are. Regardless of how irrational that might seem to adults, children can only comprehend so much and they feel as if their basic needs are being compromised.
Keep in mind that kids can also have temper tantrums to get attention and try to take control of the situation they find themselves in. All day long children are being told what to do, when, how, and where. Often they don’t get what they want, which could result in them kicking and screaming, in the hopes that they will get you to give in and do what they want. They may not understand how to get what they want by having an appropriate conversation but they do know that their outbursts will get your attention whether right or wrong good or bad.
Read More: Social Etiquette: Why Teaching Children Manners Early is Important
How to Handle Temper Tantrums
Dealing with a temper tantrum can be triggering, and challenging, not to mention mentally and even physically exhausting. You want to help, but might be in a rush, trying to do something yourself, trying to be somewhere, en route to school or an errand, or out in public, which most parents can argue is one of the worst places for temper tantrums.
First take a deep breath, when dealing with temper tantrums, you staying calm, even, and as mellow as possible is extremely important, quite possibly the hardest thing to maintain during this time. Remember that your child is only a child and their capability to handle their emotions is not only immature it is also instinctual. The first thing they learn how to do is to cry to get attention, it is all they know, the only way they can communicate in the beginning.
One simple, although a bit emotionally draining, is to sit with your child on their level (as close as they will allow you) and simply absorb their temper tantrum energy. Slowly moving closer to them as they calm down to the point where they will most likely end up in your lap as they work on calming themselves down.
Temper tantrums are overwhelming for the child, but by having you be able to absorb some of that energy literally, your child will calm down quicker. This may not always work as they may not want anyone around them, but knowing you are right there in the other room can help. At the end of it you will quite possibly feel drained as you helped take that energy from them, this is a very powerful tool.
Read More: Avoiding Spoiling Children: 5 Perfect Ways To Praise Them
Learning The Triggers and Tools to Help Temper Tantrums
Temper tantrums are when a child’s body and feelings are disconnected and need to get back in line and even. Sometimes that can take a few minutes or it could take an hour, regardless of the time it takes for a kid to get back in line eventually they will get there. Being able to support your child during a temper tantrum takes time, patience, and knowing what will help them.
Every child is different and has different needs during a temper tantrum. Some kids need to be left alone during a temper tantrum, some need a quiet safe space, and others might need their own dedicated calm-down box that helps get their bodies and feelings back in line. Learning what your kid needs and how to support their temper tantrums will not only help you but also help your family. A calm down box contains items to help your kid during this challenging moment, it can be a coloring box, a special stuffed animal, a glowing ball, a small toy, a soothing music box, or whatever will help your child get their body and feelings back in line.
As important as it is to know how to help your child come back from temper tantrums, it is also essential to recognize the triggers of your child’s temper tantrums. Hunger, overtired, too much stimulation, or just being out of their normal routine can easily trigger a child. You will need to know those triggers and how to set yourself and your kid up for success. Be prepared with snacks, and front load your child with information so they know what to expect of you of the day, avoid overwhelming them with more than they can handle.
Some things are easier said than done, to avoid, overtired is definitely a very thin line. All parents know that there is a small window that once you pass and get into overtired territory there is no going back. Go into your days recognizing these triggers ahead of time and at the same time also know your triggers because they can affect your child as well.
Read More: 7 Effective Toddler Discipline Strategies To Try Now
Temper tantrums are an unavoidable childhood occurrence that all children go through as they must learn to manage their emotions, which only comes with time. You as a parent must learn to not only deal with your child’s temper tantrums but help them through the temper tantrum and figure out triggers that push your child over the edge. Just know it will get better and you having the right tools to help your child is exactly what you both need during a temper tantrum.
WANT TO READ MORE?
Check out Temper Tantrums: How To Be a Calm & Positive Mom in 5 Simple Steps.
CONNECT WITH DAILY MOM
💖 NEWSLETTER: DAILY READS IN YOUR INBOX 💖
Sign up to receive our picks for the best things to do, see and buy so you can relax and focus on more important tasks! Let us help you be the best version of yourself you can be!
BE SOCIAL WITH US
📌 LOVE IT? PIN IT!📌
