Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Trying To Keep It Together After An Affair

Days, weeks, and months went by, but these feelings… the feelings of mistrust, betrayal, depression, stress, and fear, and still having to hold it all together while being a “good” mother, seemed impossible. The marriage was fine, everything was good. There were no hang ups, major fights, or even un-attraction issues, and yet it still happened. It happened, and even though life continued on, there was this standstill. No movement forward nor backward. Nothing but the betrayal, the affair – it was the existence of the marriage: The Affair. Life still moved forward, mothering had to be done, so just keep it together, right? 

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What Being Separated For a Year Has Taught Me

I’m separated… from my husband of would-have-been nine years this past spring. There’s no need to go into the gory details that led to the most tumultuous time in my young life of 29 years. If you’ve been married for any significant length of time, then you probably have a good idea of what can go wrong. I didn’t expect this, though. I wasn’t the wife who one day woke up and stopped loving her husband, or who decided she wanted different things, or just hated his quirks and decided to jump ship. I was side swiped. Never saw it coming. Until it did… and for the last 12 months, I’ve been trying to understand what went wrong, baffled how I never saw parts of it beginning to unravel, and coming to grips with what my new future is to hold, which still is a mysterious black hole looming in front of me.

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Making-LoveTalk: Communication Made Easy With Your Spouse

Communication. It’s either pleasant, misunderstood, loving, hurtful, or just down right dirty! Any way you spin it, you have much more control over the conversation than you may realize. Consider how a response to certain words can be controlled through conscious, intentional thoughts, or a fly-by-the mill reaction I’ll-probably-regret-this-later-but-oh-well kind of response. Love talk – it’s keeping it real, honest, respectful, simple, and easy, especially with those you love the most.

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Hot Sex Even After Having 9 Children!

The water is purified in the house, so there’s nothing in the water that is magically producing all these pregnancies. It’s simply straight up, good ‘ol fashioned sex. So you may be thinking, is it really that fun and pleasurable after having nine natural pregnancies and births to still have sex? Absolutely! If you’re thinking it has to do with just our feminine physiques, think again. Whether you are a multi-gal (now we’re talking orgasms), a singleton, or you want to explore the possibilities of making sex hot, fun, and pleasurable this year, you owe it to yourself to at least try over and over and over… again.

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How to Elope in San Francisco

For many, planning a wedding is an endeavor that they do not wish to take on. City Hall elopements, both locally and as a tourist, have become a popular option for those looking for a low key solution to their marital vows.   

A beautiful wedding does not need to be a big wedding. Intimate weddings are appealing, with lower costs and less people to manage. Whether planning your first wedding or joining families with a second marriage, a City Hall elopement can create beautiful memories without breaking the bank.

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“Boys Will Be Boys” – Theories On Men, Divorce & How We Raise Our Sons

According to a recent study by the legal website, Avvo, having a partner is more important to men. Specifically, 20% more women than men report that they’d rather be “alone, successful, and happy, than in a relationship where they’re not happy.” Also, 12% more women agree with the statement, “I don’t regret my divorce,” than men.

Twenty and twelve percent are big differences, statistically speaking. They demonstrate a shockingly acute disparity between the genders. While it’s likely that there are many factors at play here, my suspicion is that the greatest is hidden not in biology, but in culture.

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Get the Most out of Marriage Counseling

It’s no secret that successful marriages can be hard work, and it’s completely normal for couples to encounter rough water at times throughout the marriage. In fact, it’s completely inevitable. There will come a time when disagreements and differences cannot be resolved between a couple, so seeking outside counsel is important in saving the marriage. It takes extreme bravery to walk into a strangers office and divulge some of your deepest, darkest secrets, and the mere thought of doing so can make one weary. If you feel that marriage counseling is your last resort, here are some points to consider for both yourself and your partner to ensure that you’re both getting the most out of your time, effort and money!

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Moments of Marriage – A Letter to My Granddaughter

Wedding season is upon us. Many young women are proudly showing off their beautiful engagement rings and beginning their wedding preparations. It is a time of excitement for brides-to-be, their mothers, and if they’re fortunate enough to still have their grandmothers present, exciting for them as well. For many though, their grandmothers have passed on and it often leaves a void. Many years of wisdom from grandmothers could be shared and unfortunately won’t be.

For this reason, I want to be sure my granddaughter has tidbits of wisdom tucked into her heart, from my heart, before she walks down the aisle. I want her to know, even if I am not there with her physically, that my spirit and the moments of marriage I pass onto her will be remembered for always.

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How I Became a More Confident Mother

As soon as we find out we’re carrying a child, self-doubt begins to creep into our thoughts. We read, observe, question, wonder and worry about everything from pregnancy to when our children will grow old. Having a child is life-altering and can often leave a woman feeling inadequate with the responsibility of raising another human being. It should come naturally, right? Wrong! When I gave birth I use to say, “each child should come out with their own manual.” Like when you bring home a new appliance; the manual comes with directions, troubleshooting, and what to do if you need to exchange it or return it.

Honestly, it would have been easier having a manual than stressing for years figuring out what to do with each child. This was especially true after I brought home my third child who was born with a birth defect. Here I thought I had motherhood down after getting my other children through toddlerhood. Now I needed a whole other manual for child number three.

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 Three Valentine’s Day Cures

Guest Posting by Wendy Strgar, author of Love That Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy, and founder of Good Clean Love

“The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.”  ~Albert Ellis

There are two very valuable lessons about love that could be a cure for our broken relationships and dissatisfying sex lives:  Love does not come made to order; and we must be willing to ask for what we want. These two common misunderstandings about the limits of our relationships can wreak havoc in the development and maturity of many long-term partnerships. Maybe it is the fault of reading too many romantic novels or being brought up in an Ozzie & Harritet-like culture of happily ever after, but the sad and happy truth of real and lasting loving relationships is that we don’t have control over how other people love us. This truth becomes very clear when it’s combined with the belief that other people should know what we feel (or want) from love without having to tell them – and suddenly – the brokenness of our collective love lives.

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10 Reasons to Stay Married

Marriage is meant to be a long-term commitment between a husband and wife, and to stand by each other’s side through thick and thin, but the steady increase in divorce rates across the world is a clear indication that people are not respecting and putting forth much value to the sacred bond of matrimony.

While the reasons and indications of separation and divorce are often highlighted in much discussion across media platforms, the discussion behind the beauty of marriage and the many beautiful reasons to stay married are rarely highlighted.

Marriage is not easy, and there will be troubling and difficult times, but there are so many reasons to hold on to the life-long commitment that was made upon getting married. 

Today we discuss 10 reasons to stay married:

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Why you only communicate with your spouse 7% of the time

“That’s not what I meant!” Ever said that to your wife (or husband) before? Like, have you said that twice today? Even the best intentioned of words sometimes come out sideways in a sentence. Or on Monday’s, they come out in Greek.

Withstanding the test of time for marriages around the world is the phrase: “You are not listening to me!” Which prompts you to think to yourself, “I heard every word that just came out of your mouth AND I can repeat it back to you”. Yet the communication still isn’t in the same zip code of what either person intended.

How can loving family members not hear, or say, what is actually going on behind their ears or mouths?

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When to See a Marriage Counselor

There is no doubt that when you got married, you assumed that you had achieved your fairy-tale and that you and your spouse would live happily ever after. The common misconception is that this so-called fairy-tale doesn’t exist and that marriage takes a lot of work. More work than you could ever have expected

More often than not, you go into a relationship lacking the necessary tools to deal with and manage any challenges you and your spouse may encounter. There comes a point in the relationship when it becomes necessary to speak with a counselor in order to learn new ways of relating to your partner on many different levels.

When do you know it’s time to consider marriage counseling? Here are some red flags and behaviors that are clear indicators that your marriage needs help.

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