The water is purified in the house, so there’s nothing in the water that is magically producing all these pregnancies. It’s simply straight up, good ‘ol fashioned sex. So you may be thinking, is it really that fun and pleasurable after having nine natural pregnancies and births to still have sex? Absolutely! If you’re thinking it has to do with just our feminine physiques, think again. Whether you are a multi-gal (now we’re talking orgasms), a singleton, or you want to explore the possibilities of making sex hot, fun, and pleasurable this year, you owe it to yourself to at least try over and over and over… again.
Whether you start when the kids are young or you start when they are already teens, alone time for Mom and Dad is essential when it comes to keeping the sheets used and romantically abused! Do they “know” what Mom and Dad are doing? Um, who cares! Older children might; younger ones are typically as clueless as the doorknob that keeps them out.
What matters is that the children understand Mom and Dad need time together away from the children. Consider having a sitter, friend, or family member come over and blatantly tell them, “Hey, come watch the kids, the hubs and I are taking one hour to ourselves.” Um, how impressed and willing would they be?! Swap with another mom and your golden-hot-sex days or nights are just beginning!
Care for your body. Great, hot sex comes easier when your body is healed, nourished, and ready. Give yourself time after each baby for intimacy. Make sure you are completely healed from either a cesarean birth or vaginal birth. Consult with your doctor and yourself with how your body is ready to respond, react, and enjoy love-making with your partner again. Remember, there doesn’t have to be penetration in order to have a hot night of passion and orgasm with your partner – test, tease, and explore.
First things first… find your pleasure zone when you are free of distractions. If you don’t know what turns you on, you will certainly miss out on the hotness part of sex. Let’s just assume it’s a no-brainer for the man to enjoy sex anytime, most of the time. However, for women, it may not be quite that easy, especially if you have mom-radar on 24/7. This isn’t going to be accomplished that easily if you are aware of every baby/kid sound, washer stopping, doorbell ringing, and the familiar buzz of your own To Do list nagging in the back of your mind.
So how do you “turn” off the noise and really start to explore even the beginnings of pleasure? Pick the most opportune time to “play.” This may be after they are in bed, down for a nap, or completely out of the house (but it’s recommended you learn to find peace while they are in the house since that’s where they and you will be a majority of the time).
The only play date you are going on begins with your hands; lovingly guiding your partner’s hands to your most erogenous zones. Awkward? Get over it. Seriously. Let yourself go. Allow yourself to embrace every touch, breath, scent, and the sounds of you and your lover.
More often than not, some women may feel like they are being bashed and judged for looking overly sexy, slutty, or trashy, and that negativity pours over into the intimate moments of your bedroom, so you hold back for conservative’s sake. Media hasn’t helped much with the overly sexualized perception of what women should feel, look like, or experience during sex. As a result, the actual sex may be awkward, get-it-over-with sex with little hotness involved.
This isn’t sexy.
Don’t assume that just because the “acting” women look like they are enjoying it wholeheartedly that that is what your partner is looking for. He is looking at you, feeling you, and being with YOU. Don’t forget that. Let’s get the H-O-T back in your S-E-X.
Again.. find your pleasure spot. Your way and his way. The only way for you and your beloved.
Take your man back to school. Teach him what you like. Yes, you have permission to dress up like a school girl too (tell the kids it’s Mom and Dad’s private costume party – they can have their own too after they respectfully leave you alone!). Do you like the idea of stimulation directly on your clitoris or do you prefer indirect caresses? Perhaps you like to be brought to the edge of orgasm and then back off, starting over again until you can’t control yourself and you become the queen of the night (or day) after that rollercoaster ride.
Take charge. Seriously, your man may be intuitive but it may not be at the precise moment you want him to be. Consistency is the key to achieving passionate orgasms that make you smile in the middle of the workday. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t change things up, explore and test, however, if you know what works… explore, test, and tease away, but ultimately, if necessary, go back to what works… and what works really well.
Maybe you are expecting one thing, and yet, with a slight movement, surprise… that feels awfully a-ma-zing! Be sure to understand that the surprise factor isn’t all about you (well, yes it is, but consider this). Surprise your partner with some testing and teasing of your own. However, stay in control! You don’t want to drive your man over the top where he just can’t help himself and expends his goodies before you’ve had your cum party. The excitement you create in him can be overwhelmingly hot for you to drive you even closer (or to another) orgasm.
Press and start again.
One orgasm can be pretty amazing, but what about more? Some women can have multiple orgasms like a two for one sale, and they get four sets, no problem. However, maybe you’re the type to struggle to get the one, or hope and pray for another since your partner is going strong. Aside from the tips above, once you have the first one, an overly sensitive clitoris (and nipples) can make or break another pending orgasm. Test and tease.
Add pressure. Either with the pressure of your partner or the palm of a hand, apply pressure over your feminine hotness while avoiding direct stimulation, but keeping the sensations of pleasure “alive”. Once you feel like you can stimulate the clitoral area again without overstimulation… have fun. Build up to the edge again, stay consistent with rhythm, or simply use your or your partner’s hands to increase the intensity until your body screams to release.
Will it feel weird? Probably at first, but again, who cares? Do you want the hot sex to last between you and your beloved or do you want to ignore the potential intimacy because it feels awkward?
If the feelings of awkwardness are just too overwhelming, start by setting aside 30 minutes of time alone with your spouse. No phones, computers, children, or TV, just the two of you being together. If you have sex, awesome, if not, get used to just being with them, wholeheartedly, unapologetically and rid the awkwardness in just a few short “alone time” minutes together and watch the magic begin.
Make your time with your beloved a priority. Just as is your To Do list… well, put him on the list! And just do him! Now that’s hot.
Photo credits: Andi, pixabay