It's time to start thinking about having sex again. What? That doesn't sounds appealing? Whether it be the fear of pain or your physical changes psyching you out, you're not alone on wanting to skip out on your once-favorite nighttime activity. We have a few tips to get you back in the swing of things, when you're ready.
Why You Should Have More Sex
Sex increases endorphins and oxytocin ,which leads to happy feelings that allow you to better cope with stress. This will help you better combat those post baby blues along with the overall stress of having an infant. Sex also counts as a workout and may help motivate you to get your pre-baby body back.
How To Make Sex Work For You
- Recognize the role sex plays in your relationship. Some couples need more intimate moments than others. Do your best to maintain your relationship while also recognizing how the dynamic has changed since having a baby.
- Do your kegels frequently. They will help restore your muscle tone and normal blood flow to this important area.
- Invest in a good lubricant. Your natural lubricants are going to take a while to get back to normal due to all of the hormonal changes. Breastfeeding mothers will experience a decrease in estrogen and testosterone, causing the vaginal lining to thin and the area to noticeably dry.
- Experiment with positions to ease any pressure and to find ways you're comfortable with.
- For many women, sex drive can be increased by exercising more frequently and eating a healthier diet.
- Many believe birth control affects libido. If you're experiencing problems like this, explore your options with your OB-GYN.
Lack of Sleep
You are probably desperate for sleep and are functioning in a "survival mode" of sorts. Be honest with your partner about this feeling and that giving up sleep may not be worth it. But, make time for a little quick action between the sheets every once in a while. If you lose the routine completely, it can be hard to restore. Another bonus of sex? The oxytocin released can actually lead to a better sleep. So, it might really be worth your time.
Don't Hate Yourself
Your body has made a lot of changes through this journey; there is no point putting yourself under a microscope. Your husband has been there to witness this metamorphosis from beginning to end, and he knows how you have changed. There is nothing sexy about pointing out your own "flaws" so don't waste your energy doing it. Be confident in yourself. If you need some dim lighting and to keep a bra on to make yourself feel better, that's okay, but there's no need to talk about it every time your hubby gets in the mood.
Don't Compare Numbers
Do what will make your relationship and you happy. Worrying about how many weeks, or months, postpartum you waited to have sex or how frequently you are having sex compared to others will only add stress to your life. Stress will only make you less likely to have intimate moments with your husband.
When ready, sex can become a regular, enjoyable part of your life. Don't beat yourself up, and over-analyze the ifs, ands or buts. Let the moment happen, and don't shut it down immediately. Trust us, it will strengthen your relationship and put you in a better place, physically and emotionally. It may just take some time for you to get to that point.
Photo Credits: The Art of Making a Baby