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When we first found out that we were going to have a child, like others our hearts were filled with so much joy. We had been trying for our bundle of joy for so long that we were ready to hold her in our arms right at that moment. We were so wrapped in our thoughts and love for each other and this new life we were creating that the thought of a pregnancy announcement never crossed our minds.
Like a lot of couples, we decided to wait until we were in the “safe zone” and out of the first trimester to tell anyone. The first trimester is an extremely nerve-wracking and emotional time for all parents, and pulling together to make it through that time is so important. Healthline Parenthood tells us that, “Between 10 and 25 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and roughly 80 percent of these miscarriages occur in the first trimester.”
While the first trimester is intimidating and you’re just waiting for week 14 to hit, it can be somewhat comforting knowing that you have something all to yourselves. A life that you’re trying to protect and a significant other that’s there to support you through each bout of morning sickness.
Once the second trimester hit, we decided to have an individual pregnancy announcement with each of our family members for a more meaningful and intimate connection. Tears of joy ran down our parents and siblings faces as we celebrated this new life that was going to enter our family. We all guessed what the gender would be and listened to each member of our immediate family ask us if we had thought of names yet.
READ MORE: Coping With A Pregnancy After Miscarriage
And Then A Very Surprising Question Was Asked, “How Do You Plan On Doing Your Pregnancy Announcement To The World?”
This question was followed up with a million suggestions like, “Oh my gosh, you should totally have an ultrasound and baby shoes in your photos” and “Are you going to do a gender reveal? If you do, you have to have smoke bombs, it’s just so adorable and unique!”. We hadn’t even thought of a public pregnancy announcement, and all of a sudden it felt as if there were a huge amount of pressure to have one.
Isn’t This Exciting Moment Something You Should Share With Everyone?
While we knew exactly how we wanted to tell our families, posting a pregnancy announcement on social media had never crossed our minds. Like many people our age, we were kids, teens or young adults when social media came into our lives. We all remember what it felt like to add or remove someone from our top 8 on Myspace, and how every moment of our teenage angst was written on a Tumblr blog.
When something happens in our lives, our first instinct is to tell the ones who are closest to us. Social media has given us the ability to share that information with the world, and when we first started using it man did we share a lot!
As teenagers we would post the excitement of getting a McDonald’s milkshake and now it seems like every time we hop online there is some sort of celebration from family and friends. Whether it be a wedding, pregnancy, a new job, and even the new milkshake shop down the street that just opened, we all have the urge to share our happiness with one another.
But As We Grew Older, Our Privacy Became Very Important To Us
Realizing that everyone was posting their personal lives online left us with no conversation when it came to meeting people in person. Everything they had to say was already online, so everything that you would normally share or announce had already been said. While the closest ones in our lives already knew, was it really worth it to create a pregnancy announcement for the world to see?
Did Our Friends We Went To High School With That We Hadn’t Seen In 10 Years Really Need To Know That We Were Having A Baby?
Ultimately, we decided no. While having a pregnancy announcement sounds fun, it didn’t fit into our lifestyle. We wanted to have more deep and meaningful connections when telling people that we were bringing a new life into the world. Posting a pregnancy announcement on social media was the complete opposite of that.
Occasionally we would run into someone out and about that we hadn’t seen in years. It was extremely surprising to them when they saw me with a huge belly about to pop, but it brought a whole spark of joy to the conversation. Having those personal celebrations beat getting a potential 100 likes on an online pregnancy announcement.
What About Your Family Members? Didn’t They Want To Have A Pregnancy Announcement?
Of course, they wanted to announce our pregnancy to their friends and family! This was a topic we struggled with our family for quite some time. It’s so easy to just hop on social media and share a quick pregnancy announcement with the world. But like every other decision you make with your parenting, your family must respect your wishes. Not having a pregnancy announcement was the start of that respect.
While we asked that they not share it on social media, we did let them know that they were more than welcome to share the information with anyone in their lives, as long as it wasn’t made public. Did I really care if my sister-in-law’s best friend knew that I was having a baby? No, but we didn’t want this huge extravaganza of the world knowing we were expecting. We wanted to enjoy the little moments together instead of feeling obligated to keep everyone updated on what was going on.
And What If We Lost The Baby?
Someone once told me “Celebrate the joyous moments with those who you would also want to share the sad moments with.” If we had this huge pregnancy announcement only to lose our child in the end, what would posting that on social media feel like?
Losing a child is something a parent should never experience, and it becomes an extremely sensitive subject for the rest of your life. If you have a grand pregnancy announcement, and then no one ever hears updates from you about the baby then you’ll either feel obligated to share the sad news or get constant questions about receiving updates. It can make you feel an immense amount of pain over and over again.
Every Parent Is Different
While we decided not to have a pregnancy announcement, and will likely not have one in the future, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to. Every parent is different in how they celebrate a new bundle of joy coming into the world. Some want to scream it from the rooftop and others want to cuddle up with their significant other quietly until the baby is born.
In no way should you ever feel obligated to have a pregnancy announcement because the moment you find out that you’re expecting is the moment you get to start making all the parenting decisions you want. Regardless of what you choose to do, you’ll find the perfect way to celebrate meeting the new love of your life.
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Sources: Healthline Parenthood