Halloween jokes bring smiles, groans, and screams from your favorite trick-or-treaters. Your kiddos will be laughing throughout the month of October when you put Halloween jokes in their lunch boxes they can share with their ghoulish friends. Start each morning with your favorite hair-raising monster joke and end each night with a zombie zinger.
Laughter is a way to connect with family and friends. Encouraging your child’s sense of humor as they grow helps them enjoy life with spontaneity, not taking themselves too seriously, and being able to think differently. If you have not been joking around with your children, what better time to start than the month of October.
Monster Size Halloween Jokes
Halloween night is filled with creatures and monsters of all kinds. Scaring each other is part of Halloween fun. But, so is being silly. It’s time to do the Monster Mash with Frankenstein and the Boogeyman.
- What did the grandfather monster say to his grandson when they hadn’t seen each other for quite a while?
- What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
- What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
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- Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
- What kind of monster loves to disco? The boogieman.
- What do monsters turn on in the summertime? The scare conditioner.
- What is a monster’s favorite snack food? Ghoul Scout cookies.
- What did the critics say about Frankenstein’s art project? It’s a monster piece.
- What time is it when a huge monster sits on your car? Time to get a new car.
- Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
Scary Skeleton Halloween Jokes
Skeleton Halloween jokes are sure to tickle your child’s funny bone. That’s right the skinless, bone-chattering skeletons are ready to scare. Their bones may rattle and shake as your children’s bellies laugh and quake.
- Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs.
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
- Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone.
- What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appétit!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no “body” to go with him.
Ghastly Ghost Halloween Jokes
The scariest Halloween creature may actually be ghosts. The invisible apparitions have been known to leave you feeling cold. Be sure not to let your jokes put you out in the cold without any laughs.
- Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
- What kind of mistake does a ghost make? A boo-boo.
- Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
- Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
- What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? You sure are Boo-tiful!
- Why was the baby ghost sad? He wanted his mummy!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
- What do ghosts use to wash their hair? ShamBoo!
- Why don’t ghost like rain? It dampens their spirits.
Marvelous Mummy Halloween Jokes
Don’t get wrapped up in the details when trying to remember your favorite mummy Halloween jokes. It’s all about the delivery. For added fun, have your oldest child or your spouse wrap you in toilet paper as a mummy in the morning to greet the children for breakfast and laughter.
- Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
- Why is it safe to tell a mummy your secret? It’ll keep it under wraps.
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
- What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music? Wrap music.
- What type of food do mummies like? Chicken wraps.
- Why was the mummy so tense? He was all wound up.
Vicious Vampire Halloween Jokes
When sharing your favorite vampire Halloween jokes, be sure to have a set of colorful, plastic vampire teeth in your mouth. Then announce, “I ‘vant’ to suck your blood,” and proceed with jokes so funny you will wear your vampire teeth all day.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- How did the vampire race finish? Neck and neck.
- How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin.
- Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
- How can you tell vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
Wacky, Wicked Witch Halloween Jokes
Witches cast spells and make magic. They fly on broomsticks. Some are beautiful and some are hideous. But all witches are intriguing, mysterious creatures. Be sure to grab your favorite witch’s hat or paint a wart on your nose, when you share wacky, wicked witch Halloween jokes with your family.
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates.
- Why do witches wear name tags? So, they will know which witch is which.
- Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle.
- What happened to the naughty witch at school? She was ex-spelled.
- What did the tired witch do? She sat down for a spell.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling.
- Why does a witch wear a black pointed hat? To keep her head warm, of course.
Haunted Halloween Jokes
For most, Halloween is about the candy and the costumes. But for some, it is about scares, while for others it simply is about haunted Halloween jokes. Jokes that will bring groans and moans from your little goblins.
- Did you hear about the untidy cemetery? You wouldn’t want to be caught dead in there.
- What type of plants do well on All Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
- What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
- What do birds say on Halloween? Twick or Tweet.
- What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi
Sometimes known as a Dad joke, Zombie zingers are sure to make eyes go rolling. It does not take much thought to come up with a good zombie brain joke. In fact, it takes no brains at all.
- Why did the zombie decide to stay in his coffin? He felt rotten.
- What do you call a zombie who’s eating brains? A no-brainer.
- Why do zombies prefer to eat straight-A students? Because they have big brains.
Read More: Halloween Hacks For Baby’s First Halloween
- What did the zombie say before his fight? Do you want a piece of me?
- What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat? LIFE Savers!
- What did one zombie say to the other zombie while eating a comedian? This tastes funny!
- What is black, white, and dead all over? A zombie in a tuxedo.
- When do zombies go to sleep? When they are dead tired.
When in doubt, if you can’t remember a good Halloween joke to lighten the mood. You can chant: Trick-or-Treat, Smell My Feet, Give Me Something Good to Eat.
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SOURCES: This list of jokes was compiled from research done by the Daily Mom Parent Portal Team from Danya Banya, Fatherly, Ducksters, Confidence Meets Parenting, Inews, Halloween Jokes, Fun Kids Jokes, Everything Mom, and LaffGaff.