Mommin’ isn’t easy – especially for first-time moms. In the few short days (or day) to follow the birth of your fresh, little bundle, you have a handful of round-the-clock doctors and nurses peeking their heads into your room every 10 minutes, changing pads, taking temps, primping and pruning, and answering all of your questions. But the second your OBGYN clears you and your new babe, you’re patted on the back and gently pushed out the door with a “farewell” and “good luck.” Now what?

You call your own mama in the middle of the night to ask her why your baby won’t stop crying. You scour the internet for words of wisdom from other more seasoned moms in your favorite Facebook groups. You ask the stranger on the park bench for advice on how to calm colic because she looks like she’s “been there.” And you text your best friend – the one who’s been a mom three times over, doesn’t sweat the small stuff, and gives you the straight-forward answers you need to hear.

The following are texts from a first-time-mom to her mom, husband, and best friend. They’re real. They’re raw. And they’re funny as hell. We’re sure you can relate.

You can always count on your long-time BFF to give you a straight-forward answer.

When you actually get mad at your husband for not responding heroically to a hypothetical situation.

When he should just KNOW why…

When you take your alcohol any way you can get it, and then feel guilty about it.

Who says moms don’t put their kids’ needs first? She’ll take one for the team and eat fast food so we can buy the organic bananas.

Why not add another fear to this new mom’s list of concerns, Mom?

When your husband thinks he’s funny.

(These conversations are based off of real life personal texts from a first-time mom and were visually recreated for this post.)

Like this? Check out Real Life Confessions of a SAHM and be sure to follow Daily Mom’s LAUGH section for more “Real Life Texts From” installments.

Photo credit: Andi

Danielle is a Pittsburgh native who has been warming her “black and gold” blood in sunny Northern California for the past 6 years. On any given day, you can find her arranging ridiculous photo shoots of her one-year-old son Graeme and cat Gizmo, or working on any one of her 27,000 writing projects. She enjoys daydreaming about becoming a famous actress and starting a handful of different businesses with her husband over glasses of wine in the evenings. Someday, she hopes to travel the country in an RV with her family… but she needs to sell that novel first. You can follow her journeys through her blog With A Red Bird On My Shoulder

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