There comes a time when your child will believe they have it all figured out. They know right from wrong, they understand social norms and acceptable behavior, and they know how to do everything and CAN do everything better than you. This is not referring to your teenager. Nope. It has probably happened long before the teenage years. If you find yourself in a constant battle with your know-it-all, here is what you need to know about parenting using natural consequences.
What Are Natural C
Natural consequences occur as a result of
3 Reasons To Parent Using Natural Consequences
Prepares Children For Lifelong Learning
As an adult, you make decisions every day and the opportunities to learn are endless. It’s not like you woke up one day and had it all figured out. Most of your knowledge is informal knowledge. Not something you learned from a book or class, but rather life experiences. So how would someone learn anything if they were not given the opportunity to have experiences to draw from? It’s simple. They wouldn’t. Even in adulthood we are living and experiencing new things
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Prevents Argumentative Relationships With Your Child
In an ideal world, you would not argue with your child. After all, you (as parents) are the judge, jury, and executioner in your household. But, there are days that you divvy out lollipops and remind them that you have Santa on speed dial to avoid an argument. Let’s make an effort to make these days few and far between, if not totally nonexistent. Natural consequences can help you in this endeavor. Instead of arguing with them, allow them to safely make the wrong decision. Then you can use the natural consequence as a teaching moment and one that you didn’t cause, your child did. HawaiiParents.org states that natural consequences reduce arguments and blame. Simply reiterate that they made their decision, this was the consequence that you did not influence and that if they would like a different outcome next time than they would need to make a different choice.
Gives Parents A Reprieve
You need a break. And quite frankly you deserve one! Between laundry, carpool, diapers, meals, homework, baths, bedtime routines, and the list
When Natural Consequences May Not Be Effective
Natural consequences are not foolproof. There are a few instances when natural consequences won’t work for teaching your children. For one, if the results are not immediately evident than your child is not likely to learn from it. Another time when natural consequences are not an effective teaching method is when the natural consequence encourages or reinforces negative behavior. For example, if your child takes a cookie and doesn’t get caught they may think that this action does not have a negative consequence and may repeat this behavior.
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When Natural Consequences Are Not An Option
Point blank: Never allow a child to be in danger. According to Bethel Park School District, “No consequence should ever place a child at risk for injury”. Some natural consequences may cause a few tears here and there. They may not feel warm and fuzzy or be what your child was hoping for, but that was the intent. You can’t set this parenting thing on autopilot and let the environment and society teach them everything. Rest assured, you have job security. There may be times that you have told them something too many times and you decide to let them figure it out “the hard way”. “The hard way” should ALWAYS be “the safe way”. Your supervision is necessary so that you can intervene if their safety is at risk.
Here is the truth: Parents can’t and won’t save their children from all negative experiences and emotions. Life is hard, my dear. The goal should be to develop children that can have negative experiences, learn from them, be resilient, and persevere. If not, then they won’t make it past a Monday as an adult. Allowing natural consequences to take place in your child’s life will prepare them for the road that lies ahead.
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